Brutal week

This has been one brutal week! It fell to me to eliminate an entire program area, which equates to terminating eight positions. One of those positions morphs into a different one, but that still means that seven highly competent, fiercely committed, exceptionally resilient servants of Christ and his church are out of a job effective April 6. Brutal. And the congregations, districts and leaders that this staff served will now not have these advocates and companions on their journey.

I'm ambivalent about the role of my faith in the face of such difficult tasks. I take comfort from my relationship with God and draw strength as a follower of Jesus. For the thousands of people who have had to tell their co-workers the same bad news, I don't know how they could do it without the reserve of strength that I know in Christ.

On the other hand, because my colleagues are also sisters and brothers by virtue of our shared faith in God, it tears my heart out to terminate their positions and lay them off. I love these people and care about their well-being, and here I am inflicting pain and difficult transition on them. Would that I were merely a heartless secular curmudgeon.

Then again, God is a transforming God who journeys with us through the difficult times. Sometimes that transformation takes a push, a shove, or a strong tug. I trust that one of the outcomes of these painful personal, financial and organizational times will be a transformed people of God. Regardless of where I personally am when that transformation takes hold, I believe that God is about to do a new thing, as promised.

But the reduction of key staff and the deep cuts in ministry resources makes me wonder how we can be so presumptuous as to think that this is about transformation. What is the vision that is driving our changes? Where there is no vision, God's people will perish. If profit were the bottom line, in some ways it seems that it might be easier to take whatever measures are necessary to maintain financial solvency. But profit's not our motive, so when does sustaining financial solvency actually work against the core of the mission and the long term vision that God has for us?

I don't know. I think I wish I did, know that is, what this all means and whether or not we've made the right decisions. But I don't know that they're the right decisions, only the best decisions I (we) could make at this time, given this context, these conditions, the direction of the leadership that I trust and honor in our denomination.

It is not in knowing the rightness of our decisions that the final truth reveals itself for me. It is in that space where I must rely fully on the grace of God to transform what we have done into what needs to be done for the sake of God's mission on earth and in heaven. May it be so.