I would be weeping

Today, for the second day of a three day party marathon, we celebrated our son Ben's 22nd birthday. As an adult with Williams Syndrome, a genetic deletion that makes many aspects of daily living a challenge, Ben can at times stretch his father's patience and stamina.

But Ben is a beautiful human being. He is the friendliest guy you'll ever meet. His smile is amazing. His empathy is deep. His ability to remember you is nearly unmatched. He sees you as a friend, instantly and forever. He is a lover of people. 

I am so proud of Ben: all he has accomplished in his 22 years, the hearts he has softened, what he has learned, how he has grown, the dreams he has for his life.


As I've scrolled through headlines today, I have been struck by a pretty simple question: How do the parents of our current political leaders see their children, these white men in power, making decisions to further disenfranchise the poor, to obscure the rights of so many people, to dictate life choices for women and LGBTQ friends, to recklessly destroy our environment, to pursue wealth at the expense of others, to threaten our world through state-sanctioned bullying, and to disregard the health needs of millions of Americans.

If these were my sons, I would be weeping.

As a father I am humbled to have an eldest son (and two other kids as well) that understands the most important aspects of life: to love, to share, to look out for one another, to smile, to remember, to befriend, to care.

I would be weeping; but when I see my child, all I can do is smile.

Oh, Say. Can you see?!?

Yesterday I was standing in a gym surrounded by amazing, brave, and loving athletes and their families, ready for a day of basketball.

As we focused our attention on our nation's flag and anthem, I could not ignore the painful irony that this week we will inaugurate a president who shows willful disdain for the very folks who are the best of what these symbols represent.

Also recited in that gym,

the Special Olympics pledge is 

"let me win, 

but if I cannot win let me be brave in the attempt." 

I would love for our son to look at the flag and hear the anthem which calls forth this courageous and honorable endeavor and know that we actually mean it, but instead, what I see and hear is a depraved PEOTUS making fun of the people I love the most, and a cadre of defendants rising in heartbreaking defense.

In spite of all this, we will not surrender hope. 

The love and bravery that filled that gym yesterday will remain undaunted. 

It is love and courage like Jesus - 

big love, 

unconditional acceptance, 

courageous inclusion, 

self-sacrifice, 

quiet power, 

all accompanied by enormous smiles.

There is no coercion. 

There are no threats. 

Bullying is wholly absent. 

Self-aggrandizement is nowhere to be seen. 

Indignant self-righteousness is mute. 

Personal preservation yields to the whole.

Teachers, coaches, volunteers, parents, friends and athletes: 

these are what is good about our world today. 

It is this good which will prevail. 

We are not going away. 

We will not be dismissed. 

We will persevere, with or in spite of or in the face of those who hold structural power.

We will win, and if we cannot win, 

we will be brave. 

Which means in the end we cannot lose the things that really matter.

Oh, say. Can you see? You will.

(originally published as a facebook post on January 15, 2017)